Monday, July 29, 2013

When All Else Fails...Begin Again

I have a well-documented history with the mental monster.  I have struggled with my runs and feeling confident in my body's abilities.  To squash the monster once and for all and to prove to myself that I can do it, I have started the Couch to 5K program all over again.

I know that I can run for more than 2 miles.  I have done it.  But lately, between feeling disgusted and taking time off, I feel it is necessary to show my body what it is supposed to do. 

Tonight's program was day 1 - 5 minute warmup and cool down with 6 repitions of 1 minute runs and 1.5 minute walks. 

I felt good.  Of course I can do 1 minute runs.  But if felt good to be relaxed in my run.  I wasn't stressing over my hand burning (long story short..was stung by wasp and hand was still swollen), my breathing, the heat, the fact that I forgot and left my reward water at home, etc.  I listened to my country tunes and did my program. 

I'm sure some people would question me.  "Didn't you already do this?"  Yes I did.  "Haven't you already completed two races?" Yes I have.  "Then why do it again?"  Why not?  Running isn't seasonal and there is no end so I'm always trying to do a little better than before.  But I don't feel as confident as I once did.  I have lost my runners edge, so to speak.  This isn't about comparing myself to my friends or any other runner.  This is about me and my ability.  It's about my enjoyment.  And I wasn't.  I wasn't able anymore because I didn't enjoy it.  Tonight was good. 

The program gets me about 1.5 miles but I went ahead and completed another .5.  I closed the program and just ran.  I walked when I had to but I finished with a run. 

I got a little too hot.  It was a scorcher.  And I wasn't properly hydrated for the day.  But I did it and I was happy with my activity level. 

All this to say, if you are feeling like you are failing or you can't run - stop it!  You can do it.  Just do it at your own pace.  Don't let anyone tell you how fast or far you should be moving.  The point is you are trying.  Find out where you enjoy running.  Find your own program or pace.  Find some running tunes if that helps.  Just enjoy what you are doing.  And above all, don't get mad and give up.  Get motivated and find a fresh place to begin again.

If I can do it, you can do it!


1 comment:

  1. "I used to run with doubt. Now she can't keep up." LOVE THAT!!

    Nothing wrong with starting over - the main thing is that you're not giving up! That's wonderful. =)